Early on in my career as a couples therapist, I saw countless couples who would come into my office, sit on my couch, and launch in to attacks against one another. These early days highlighted that I did not know what to do with a couple who was instantly and constantly judging each other. I…
I’m embarrassed to admit how quickly the giddy awe of marriage faded for me. How fast my husband went from being someone I anxiously prayed I’d find to some guy in my way. I don’t have an exact date but let’s just say I took the phrase “the honeymoon is over” too literally. My cynical…
If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a hundred times: Wives are terrified of their husbands driving behaviors. Just a few months ago a couple sat in my office and the wife was almost in tears about the trip from their home to my office. They were running a few minutes late, the husband…
For Rick and Linda, both of their first marriages were destroyed by selfishness that masqueraded as “needs.” Linda’s husband was narcissistic—everything was about meeting his needs, including his gambling and sexual addictions. For Rick, his first wife left him for another man whom she thought would meet her “needs” better than Rick could. Rick was…
Communication may be a skill of thinking, speaking, and listening, but what happens when someone listens but cannot hear? James and Ashley had a rough first year of marriage, to say the least. They had met during the fall of their senior year of college. Marriage plans progressed quickly after Christmas, and they were married…
